Preserving the Future Today

PRESERVING THE FUTURE TODAY 

By Comfort Umoren-Olorunnisomo

Photo credit: Virtual Globetrotting

As the world protest and lament on the deteriorating value for human lives, the number of cases of rape, police brutality, racism, domestic violence and other forms of abuse keep increasing. While some blame it on bad government, others blame it on end-time or the devil. In all of this, one small but powerful component of the society where all of these may have started from and can contribute to curb these, has been overlooked – the FAMILY.

The society is made up of families, parent(s) of each of these families has the right and opportunity to train and instil the values in their offspring. So the problem is, you can only give what you have. Some parents have (in)directly implanted racism, rape culture, violence, corruption and other vices into their children through their actions and words. Yes, the current state of things may not be solely pinned on the family since there are other agents that may not be controlled, but most times, it starts from home. This piece looks at the family as one of ways of securing the future.

‘Train up a child in the way (s)he should go, when (s)he is old, (s)he will not depart from it’ thus says the holy book. Most times, parents concentrate on teaching their kids respect for elders but not respect for others like their peers, younger ones and vulnerable people. This is wrong in every facet of it. Respect should not be limited to greetings and courtesies but in every letter of the word ranging from respecting others opinions, privacy, body, property and belief among others, regardless of their age, gender, race, social class, religion and other social stratifications. Children learn more from their parents’ actions than from their warnings and preachings. As parents learn to act the way you would want your children to behave. Failure to inculcate this value in your children may lead to dysfunctional adults and later parents who may become rapists, racists, psychopaths, domestic violators and the likes, and they pass on these traits to their children and the cycle goes on thereby, making the world more dangerous with each generation. Let them learn that understanding others may not necessarily mean agreeing with them but that both can still coexist in the same space with their opposing worldviews. Treat your spouse, neighbours, friends, relatives and others right and with respect.

Photo credit: Kidshepline.com

Another interesting lesson you may want to teach your child(ren) is how to accept No and how to deal with defeat. While it is great to teach a child to be a goal-getter and a winner, it is extremely important to teach them how to cope with down times especially when things aren’t going in their favour. Show them when it is right to press hard to achieve/convince someone and when it is a NO-NO! Also, when it is a NO or a negative outcome, let them know how to cope with such depending on the peculiarity of the child, let them cry, suck it up, take a walk or engage in some non-violent or abusive activities to ease the rejection/defeat. Train them to see success and failure as platforms to learn more and be better. In most part of Africa, it is believed that males who cry are weak. This is so wrong, if that is the best way to deal with that emotion at the time, it is best to let it all out than suck it in and cause more damage to the male child. Being strong does not always mean holding back tears or not showing emotions.

Photo credit: npr.org

Furthermore, love, kindness/compassion and empathy are virtues the world has lost to greed, corruption, prejudice and disrespect for human lives. Inculcating the right values in our representatives of the future will go a long way in moulding the future. Express these virtues to loved ones and strangers alike and watch your kids grow in it. These are the virtues that can heal our world of all its hurts and pains because if these were imbibed in most adults of this generation, racism, rape, murder, domestic violence, police brutality, corruption in ‘high and low places’ and others will be minimal. Loving others as you would yourself and putting yourself even in one pair of the other person’s shoe will help you understand their pain and the human in you will be triggered to take actions/decisions that will not hurt or take advantage of them.

You cannot give what you don’t have. As an adult, you know yourself better than anyone else and you alone can honestly rate yourself on parenting, but again, based on what benchmark - how you were raised, your experience or your role model’s? If these values mentioned are missing in your lifestyle, then you may need to unlearn, learn and relearn some skills in parenting and imbibe these values as the world depend on you to protect the future from further decay.